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sorararasI think they don't know how hard it is to suck at everything...
Like, I can't like anything I do. I suck at theater, music, sports, studying (I get good grades but I don't study, it's what you'd call "talent" (though I only see it as a good ability to memorize and understand things)), but I hate all of these. I love singing but I suck at it. I want to sing well but I can't... because I give up so easily. I suck at everything so I have no self confidence. I have no self confidence so I always give up.
The only thing I'm good at is English. It's the only think that makes me feel a little less like a failure and that can give me more self confidence. They're better than me at EVERYTHING ELSE. But I'm the bitch. Does that sound legit to you?
All my life I've been belittled for sucking at PE. When I went skiing, everyone was shocked and thought I'd fail. Do you know how it hurt my pride when they said that? But I just laughed it off because it's true anyway. I suck at sports and I hate it. I finally have something I can be the best at, in my class obviously. Something I can beat them at. But no. I'm still being criticized. I don't know what to do anymore. Is it my fault for according importance to my pride? Am I guilty for wanting to be better than others at something?
And this had to happen just when I thought it was ok. Just when I thought school was gonna be ok. Whenever I start thinking things will be fine, something always happen to make me feel so depressed. It's like I'm in a hole and I almost got out of it but then someone pushes me back in it, over and over and over again. I just can't, seriously...
Like, I can't like anything I do. I suck at theater, music, sports, studying (I get good grades but I don't study, it's what you'd call "talent" (though I only see it as a good ability to memorize and understand things)), but I hate all of these. I love singing but I suck at it. I want to sing well but I can't... because I give up so easily. I suck at everything so I have no self confidence. I have no self confidence so I always give up.
The only thing I'm good at is English. It's the only think that makes me feel a little less like a failure and that can give me more self confidence. They're better than me at EVERYTHING ELSE. But I'm the bitch. Does that sound legit to you?
All my life I've been belittled for sucking at PE. When I went skiing, everyone was shocked and thought I'd fail. Do you know how it hurt my pride when they said that? But I just laughed it off because it's true anyway. I suck at sports and I hate it. I finally have something I can be the best at, in my class obviously. Something I can beat them at. But no. I'm still being criticized. I don't know what to do anymore. Is it my fault for according importance to my pride? Am I guilty for wanting to be better than others at something?
And this had to happen just when I thought it was ok. Just when I thought school was gonna be ok. Whenever I start thinking things will be fine, something always happen to make me feel so depressed. It's like I'm in a hole and I almost got out of it but then someone pushes me back in it, over and over and over again. I just can't, seriously...
