![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ＶＥＮＴ＃５
No I'm not ok. But I can't always tell everyone I'm depressed and all. I'm annoying. Me being depressed is annoying. Me being myself is annoying. Everything in me is annoying.
I get it already. But no one gets who I truly am, well it's normal since no one even tried to do that. I got in an argument with my classmates. And the one who got the blame was me. I was trying to help one of them but I ended up being criticized instead. For something I didn't think. I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of these people. Gonna explain what happened before I forget it. Gotta remember everything, as shitty as it may be.
So yeah. End of math class. One of my pal came to our table saying "wow I got a 7.5/10 it's so shit" while another one of my pal, who was next to me, had the same mark. Do you fucking realize how insulting it is? I mean we all have our pride. So I stood for her, saying that "it's a good grade and it hurts when you're next to the one saying that and you have the same grade." I said we all have a pride and it's fucking mean to say that. But no. Another one of my pals took her side. She said "well when you think you're gonna have a better mark and you get this of course you're sad and you complain!!! Plus it's personal, she's not criticizing others!!" So like I took an example "it's like when I got 19.5/20 at my English test. Imagine I thought I was gonna have 20 and I told you "wow I got 19.5 this is shit I'm so sad it sucksssss" while you have less." and she fucking said that I ALWAYS say that. I don't even think that.
Seriously, I speak English as often as I speak French. It's sorta LEGIT that I'd get a better mark than them who only learn it by heart and never use it lol. Plus our classes are REALLY easy, I learnt that 3 years ago so... And I don't even think that. If I wasn't speaking English as often as I am, I'd get around the same marks as them. I'm nothing special, just used to speaking English and I just love this language. But yeah always happy to have people thinking like that. I never even complained about my marks. They ask me what I got, I tell them I got like 19.5, 20, 18 idk w/e I got but nothing less, nothing more.
She already said that to me when I got less. I can tell you it hurts as fuck when you hear someone complain about their mark when they're way better than yours. Especially me, who gives a lot of importance to pride. But no, I have to be considerate (and I try to be as much as I can) but they aren't and it's my fault?? Seriously. What hurts the most is that the one I defended didn't say anything. She just remained silent.
But yeah I know it's my fault. Sorry for having a pride. Sorry for trying to be as considerate as I can. Sorry for not being obsessed with school work and grades. Sorry for being me. Sorry for breathing. Sorry for existing.
I get it already. But no one gets who I truly am, well it's normal since no one even tried to do that. I got in an argument with my classmates. And the one who got the blame was me. I was trying to help one of them but I ended up being criticized instead. For something I didn't think. I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of these people. Gonna explain what happened before I forget it. Gotta remember everything, as shitty as it may be.
So yeah. End of math class. One of my pal came to our table saying "wow I got a 7.5/10 it's so shit" while another one of my pal, who was next to me, had the same mark. Do you fucking realize how insulting it is? I mean we all have our pride. So I stood for her, saying that "it's a good grade and it hurts when you're next to the one saying that and you have the same grade." I said we all have a pride and it's fucking mean to say that. But no. Another one of my pals took her side. She said "well when you think you're gonna have a better mark and you get this of course you're sad and you complain!!! Plus it's personal, she's not criticizing others!!" So like I took an example "it's like when I got 19.5/20 at my English test. Imagine I thought I was gonna have 20 and I told you "wow I got 19.5 this is shit I'm so sad it sucksssss" while you have less." and she fucking said that I ALWAYS say that. I don't even think that.
Seriously, I speak English as often as I speak French. It's sorta LEGIT that I'd get a better mark than them who only learn it by heart and never use it lol. Plus our classes are REALLY easy, I learnt that 3 years ago so... And I don't even think that. If I wasn't speaking English as often as I am, I'd get around the same marks as them. I'm nothing special, just used to speaking English and I just love this language. But yeah always happy to have people thinking like that. I never even complained about my marks. They ask me what I got, I tell them I got like 19.5, 20, 18 idk w/e I got but nothing less, nothing more.
She already said that to me when I got less. I can tell you it hurts as fuck when you hear someone complain about their mark when they're way better than yours. Especially me, who gives a lot of importance to pride. But no, I have to be considerate (and I try to be as much as I can) but they aren't and it's my fault?? Seriously. What hurts the most is that the one I defended didn't say anything. She just remained silent.
But yeah I know it's my fault. Sorry for having a pride. Sorry for trying to be as considerate as I can. Sorry for not being obsessed with school work and grades. Sorry for being me. Sorry for breathing. Sorry for existing.